As i get older, i realised that time really passes fast...but it gets more challenging for me each year. 2009 went like a lightning. I still remember the church camp i attended in june 09, the economy gloom that shook the world instantly, my change of job which took place miraculously, my dad's deteriorating health condition, me getting to know new friends at workplace, my first public performance at singapore flyer, me facilitating events, unforgettable korea trip, an ex-colleague who went overseas to pursue studies and many more... all these seems like yesterday. And what can I look forward to in 2010? The new integrated resorts or more circle line stations opening up? =)

None of these i guess adds any meaning to my life... sincerely speaking. Events happen every now and then, new friends come , old friends go, new job arrive and experience accumulates, things that leave a deeper mark on me are more of the lessons i learn through experiences. When friends left me (changing to a new environment), I realised that I need to depend on my longstanding relationship with my heavenly Father and of course also on other friends who remained. When my old job becomes a threat to my emotional health, i realised a time for me to let go and learn from bad experience, when my father's health conditiion deteriorates, i realised a time to build relationship with him, a time to show that I care. When new friends came, i realised different ppl adds different joy and life sharing. When new job tasks were given to me, i realised i could be stretched much more and my potential in events facilitation and when I get to see the less privileged, I felt sad that i complained abt life. When friends boast of their materialistic wealth, i realised how i insecure i am with what i have. When the mrt crowd irritates me, i realised how impatient a person i can be. :)..these are all life lessons and opportunities to see my true self and to learn what  i have missed appreciating.

On the 31st Dec late evening, I was alone in my room, quietly. I had an invitation to go shenton for countdown.. but i eventually decided not to go as i was afraid of the return difficulty and anw my mum needs company. So... i was there wondering if i will miss out alot by staying at home.. to some extend i guess it's Yes, i missed the beautiful fireworks, great company, all the fun cheering and food? I heard some countdown noises near my neighbourhood when it hit 12 am.. "5..4...3..2...1..Happy New Year!!!" haa... quite familiar right? But what was i doing? I was busy smsing.. not happy new year.. but some usual errands sms. At that moment, i felt peaceful and calm, though not in the crowd but feeling contented. I wasnt with some boyfriend holding hands and wishing that days ahead will be beautiful but I was at home with the peace that God granted. That was what i needed i thought. A peace of mind. Not that i have given up the dream to get a partner.. but somehow i thought i have overestimated what i really need. Sometimes it's as simple as peace and contentment. Someone reminded me recently about contentment... this eventually became my 2010 resolution. Some of my troubles arise due to discontentment, unsatisfied that i do not have certain things and impatient to get some things. hmm... i gotta learn my lesson, learning when to say no to some of my unrealistic desires.

For this year.... I pray that i will achieve some financial independence, breakthru in contentment...and..something else that remains my wish.

Coming to my new work environment has given me a new relevation about relationships...what is it? Ok, have you heard of stories about how employees relating differently to their bosses before and after work? There is a good scenario of both parties being able to let down their hair after working hours.. no boss and subordinate behavior, no need to hide all the casual body gestures, resting on the table, no jokes etc...but stiil a clear invisible line is drawn... at least for most workplaces. Most subordinates will behave decently in front of their bosses even in casual settings or at least no disrespectful manners like giving open and straightforward remarks to their bosses.

Yup, this is an example of how working relationship determine how and what kind of friendship develops between two persons...I came across this nice lady in my previous company. She is a very talkative colleague, very fun-loving person as well as active in social life...though she was already a mother of two, guess her mum and maid have helped her to load off much household burden. Both of us hit off very well after a few weeks of her entry into the company and we continued to expand our friendship circle with other colleagues. And this continued for many months till we all left the workplace. Anw... this thought came sometime ago that if we were boss and subordinate then our relationship would have been very different.. I would not be able to share with her my life like i had before, i wld not have cracked so much jokes and even share with her my troubles at work. Things wld not have been the same. Thank God, we didnt start our relationship that way...

I think the same rule applies in my current workplace. Though i do click well with most of my colleagues but i could feel the invisible boundary between us. What do i mean? Well I am actually a support staff to a good bunch of them providing all kinds of admin and on-site support work when they conduct events. Sometimes i do feel very part of them but somehow due to our working relationship we have to step on each other toes very often. These led to some instances of unhappiness occuring and we became very tactful in our communication towards each other afraid of sparking off another fire. Maybe it's my way of confronting matters and demands? Maybe i am still getting used to the new range of work and responsibilities? The rest of them actually are much closer to each other than i am with them.

Anw, I am asking God to help me cope with the differences and odds. It is a new level of relationship managing for me. I cant deny the fact that our relationship boundary might be tight...but it all depends on how we handle with tender loving care...

This was spent 3 days before my korea trip. Ya i noe i travelled alot this year. until my mum complained..

We didnt climb the mountain... but we went around the small city of kota...As a whole, in terms of the water and seaside...i thought Krabi is better.

sunset at one of the jetty.

one of us who likes to pose adorably...

They had some bak kut teh before i came..

o i look sleepy? we were havin supper before turning in...hee.

near the jetty where we are departing for our snorkering place..

on the speed boat..

on the island!

gears on!

having our bbq lunch..

our sumptuous dinner spread..

woohoo.. durian time..

red durian.. tasted weird like chempedek..

river rafting..! level 1-2 only...

it's where i got my both arms sunburnt.. anw the water was very cooling.